There are times in our lives when we can’t face doing housework.
Maybe we’ve had a bad day or a bad couple of days. Perhaps there’s something bigger going on, such as a bereavement, a change in jobs, a breakup, or a new baby. Maybe we’re suffering from depression, anxiety, or another mental or physical illness.
Whatever the reason, this post is for when you feel too low, tired, exhausted or unmotivated to look after your home. I hope some of my tips can help you through this mentally, physically and emotionally draining time and that things start to look a bit brighter for you soon.
Defer unnecessary tasks
I’m not trying to suggest here that you let your house get into a state. Of course, that will only make you feel worse.
But, if you’re going through a difficult time, you can make things easier for yourself by letting go of unnecessary tasks. Maybe in usual times, you like to maintain a particular standard. You might even go above and beyond. In times of struggle, we can feel too drained to do anything. If we expect too much of ourselves, try to carry on as usual and fail, we can make ourselves feel even worse.
So think about what tasks are essential for your home. Along with looking at tasks you can temporarily drop, think about whether there are house chores you could do a little less often, without stopping them entirely.
By deciding what’s essential and having the rest as optional extras, you’ll be more likely to stay on top of things, and you’ll feel good whenever you do something extra, rather than feeling bad for not keeping up your usual standards.
Keep up with the things that make you happy
I know I just suggested cutting back on some things, but try not to cut back on the things that make you happiest.
Little things can make a big difference. Sometimes, even making the bed can feel too much, but these little actions affect our mood. Decide which house chores make you happiest and try to keep them up.
Hire a cleaner if you can
Cleaners are becoming more and more common in households. If you’re struggling to keep up with your home and you can afford it, I’d highly recommend paying a cleaner to help you. Even if they come once a fortnight or once a month and do the bits you least like doing, it’ll be a huge help, I’m sure.
One of the reasons people are hesitant to get a cleaner is that they don’t think they’d do the tasks the owner wants them to do or to the same level. Don’t be afraid to specify what things are important to you when you hire a new cleaner. They’ll be glad they’re able to meet your expectations.
At the same time, it’s crucial to accept that everyone has their own way of doing things. If letting go of some of the control affords you more time to focus on feeling better, it might be a worthwhile trade-off.
Delegate
Much like my previous point, if you have children or a partner or anyone else you’re living with who is capable of picking up some of the slack, ask them for help.
Again, you might find it difficult at first to let go of some of the control, but consider your payoffs. If you’re struggling to get others involved with housework, check out my blog post.
Set a timer
If you need the motivation to do a house chore, it can help to set a timer. Even five minutes is better than none. Television adverts are great for this, as you know it’s only a couple of minutes of cleaning/tidying up and you’ll be back to chilling out on the sofa again.
If you can’t find your phone or you can’t be bothered to set a timer, get up and put 10 things away. Picking a target number is another way of getting yourself going, and you can count down while you work.
Listen to music while you tidy
Is there a type of music that energises you and lifts your mood? Listen to it. Turn it up as loud as you can. You might even sing along or jig about a bit while you tidy. Music really can lift your mood.
Or, you could try listening to a soothing podcast episode while folding your washing or doing the dishes. Sometimes the company can make us feel supported, or at least distracted.
Ditch the perfectionist mindset
I know I touched on this earlier, but make sure you’re being kind to yourself and not expecting too much. Now is not the time for perfection. If you find yourself having an internal battle about what to get done or how you’d like yourself to do them, try asking ‘what will this look like if I didn’t have to be perfect?’.
Work with your natural energy levels
When you’re low, it can feel like a constant drag throughout your entire day. Despite this, there’ll still be certain times during the day when you’ll have more energy. It helps to recognise and work with these times.
In general, are you more of a morning or evening person? Or maybe you’re somewhere in between. Think about times when you’ve had more energy if it helps. Generally, your energy levels rise shortly after waking, reaching a peak and then trailing off around lunchtime. We then tend to experience an afternoon slump, followed by a mini recovery which takes us through till after dinner. If you’re a night owl, you’ll probably take a few hours longer to get going in the morning, and you might feel more energetic during your recovery than in your morning peak.
Notice when you feel a little more energised and use it to your advantage to get things done. Then, when your energy levels dip, you can relax and take it easy.
Create a cleaning schedule
Once you’ve figured out which house chores you’re ok to suspend and which ones you’re going to keep up with, it might help to create a cleaning and tidying plan.
If it’s daily maintenance you’re finding difficult, try downloading a task or checklist app and adding each item to it. It feels rewarding to tick things off a list. Or you could decide you’re going to focus on one room per day. However you want to do it, write it down so that you don’t have to remember what needs doing, and proudly tick it off once it’s done.
Get inspired, but be careful
A little bit of home inspiration can help. You could get this from a TV show, Pinterest, or a magazine. Just make sure you don’t end up doom scrolling and feeling worse because of it. While it’s good to get inspired by nice pictures of homes, remember it’s not real. Don’t compare your home to the ones you see on social media, as you’re only seeing bits that people want you to see. Do not let anyone make you feel guilty about your home. You’re doing the best you can. So, only look for inspiration if you think it will help, and take it with a pinch of salt.
Don’t hide away from the world
You might feel too rough to go outside, but at least open the curtains. Try to let some light in and if you do feel up to it, go for a short walk. Your home might feel safe, but if you’re feeling vulnerable, hiding yourself away can be a dangerous thing.
Don’t be too ashamed of your home to have people over. Even if you haven’t been able to maintain your home as you wish, you deserve to have company. Invite a trusted friend. Tell them to bring tea or coffee with them if you can’t face playing host. Having someone inside your home will make you feel less alone, and as long as they’re kind and unjudgemental, they’ll also make you feel accepted and soothed.
Clean as you go
To make things easier, try to avoid letting mess pile up by tidying and cleaning as you go. Wash a couple of things while you’re waiting for the kettle to boil. Take your empty plate or mug out to the kitchen when you next go in.
Staying on top of things will improve your mood and your peace of mind.
Avoid burn out
Don’t soldier on thinking you’ll feel better if you get everything done. You’re low in energy for a reason. Yes, maintaining your home will help improve your mood, and there’s no denying a little exercise will too, but you need to take it easy. Give your body and mind the rest it craves.
Praise yourself
Don’t forget to reward yourself. Make a nice hot drink as a reward for wiping the sides down. Buy yourself flowers after cleaning the kitchen. Congratulate yourself for your efforts by giving yourself little treats. Be your own best friend.
Seek professional help
Depending on what you’re going through, your mood and energy might improve after a day, weeks or months. If you think you’re struggling with anxiety, exhaustion, depression, grief, or anything else, don’t suffer alone. Contact your doctor or a health professional so you can get the help you need to start feeling better.